another moral hangover. fuck.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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