We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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