What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
