it's too hot outside to masturbate.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
