i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
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