Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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