i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
