just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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