Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
