Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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