so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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