We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
