There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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