I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
