Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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