i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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