first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
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