During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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