I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
