after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
