I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
