idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I'm too high and old for this...
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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