Sacagawea was the original milf.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Randomize