In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
