Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
