he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
She needs sedatives and a leash
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Randomize
