margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
