HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
