dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
