I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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