...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
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