he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
