if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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