That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
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