I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
