but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize