Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
