it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Randomize