There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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