you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
