I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
You did what with his pubic hair?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize