did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
