i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Holy sore nipples Batman
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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