If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
