He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
They have beer where we have blood.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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