Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
