I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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