finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
