The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
