Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize