just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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