Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
