If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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