Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
