He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
