i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
