Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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