...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
