i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
