Cold hands, warm shart.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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