I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
